Why I should be an ambassador to children or something

A 2 year old whose head was shaved (for god knows what reason) and his mother were arguing about how he should eat more vegetables to grow big and strong.  The kid was adamant and rejected his mother requests with stern, exclamatory head shakes.

As he fervently shakes his head in agonizing NOPES!, he notices me, stops and blankly stares at me TOWERING over him into the stratosphere and my shiny chrome dome of a head.

I realize the immense responsibility that has been suddenly thrust upon me, make my handsomest handsome man face, and do my best ” That’s right kid, if you eat your vegetables, you’ll grow up to be big and strong and bald like me.” slow nod.

handsomest handsome man face









The kid stops troubling his clueless mother who hadn’t seen the magic that had just transpired, and calmly heads home with her.

I had touched the child in the appropriate and only way that a strange, grown-ass man should.