Facebook

*Typical status update with a quote by a famous, successful personality in it. The quote is the truth *cough* (reflects my biases), contains terrific advice, which I obviously do not follow and probably don’t understand, but hey, I get to pretend to be a deep, pretentious, superior personality and that’s all that matters in life. That and memes and stalking your crush on Facebook. Yes, I know your secret, because I am DEEP, there’s no bottom to this well of wisdom.*

Now you’ll like this status update, because you too are a deep thinker (It’s actually because you think it would be uncool to not like this, but hey who has time to deal with those issues.) and reflect daily on the absurdity of life. You also wouldn’t pass off an opportunity like this, because your crush is holding their breath and stalking your Facebook activity(because that’s what crushes do, it is only natural) and you must look cool in front of them(not that you need to try, you have the face of an angel).Yes you are not delusional, your love totally isn’t one-sided and unrequited.
Did I tell you that you are a special snowflake? Well you are, and I like you because you constantly agree with me and my deepness(biases).